Kibo …

Jack-in-a-Box in Eagle Tower is pedalling this crap.  It must be illegal to sell this in the UK because the ingredients are not in English.  It also tastes bloody awful. Continue Reading »

Me: Do you reckon a mobile ‘phone would work if you were buried, in a coffin, under six or seven feet of earth?
Guy One: Don’t know.
Me: Perhaps we should take Guy Two for the bike ride in the forest tomorrow.
Guy Two: <leaves the office in case we try to grab him />

Go and see it.  It’s very well done, and even Gerrard Butler is up to scratch.  Really gruesome first three minutes, though, but later on a lot of sh_t gets really blowed up.

In October I decided to cancel my MBNA Mastercard.  Why?  Simple - they send out far too much junk mail, regardless of how often I ask them to stop.

You can’t close an account on-line, so you have to endure the worst automated call system in the world, and you still have to talk to a Customer Service Droid to justify your decision.
Continue Reading »

Is it unreasonable to expect the following flow of conversation when at a checkout?

Me: Hi.
Checkout Assistant: Hello.
[Checkout assistant scans items ...]
Checkout Assistant: That’s £49.96, please.
Me: There you go.
[Insert card, enter PIN, etc]
Checkout Assistant: There’s your receipt, your purchases. Thank you.  Bye.
Me: Bye.

Continue Reading »

Red car stopped at the lights.  AS I slowed down (about 10 feet from it), some cunt in a Corsa pulled alongside me, then in (all in the right-hand lane).  I pulled in front of his off-side front wing so that he couldn’t get by.  As the light went green, red car moved off, I started to, as did Cuntman.  I stopped, forcing Cuntman to do the same, but not before he rolled in to the back of the bike, so I just turned and waited.  He got out, telling me to “Fuck off – I’m late for work.”  I just told him to stop being a prick and waited.  He sat there, revving his engine, so I waited.  He then got out again, I told him to stop being a prick again.  At this point the light was red, so, as I was already across the white line, off I went, leaving Fat Brummie Cuntman stuck at the lights.

On balance, I win.  I got to work on time, calm and collected, where as Cuntman’s rectum has probably fallen out over his car seat.  I’m planning on being there on Monday for round two.

Laughable science, a wholly unbelievable plot, bizarre and absurd acts of heroism, typical schamltz, pretty good acting from a crappy script, but massive visual effects that will leave you thinking that it must be real.  All crammed in to 2h38m!

Worth the ticket price?  If you liked “Independence Day” and “Day After Tomorrow”, probably, otherwise wait for it to appear on Sky Movies.

What can I say about this bloke that hasn’t already been said?  He’s a racist.  He’s simple-minded.  He’s a thug in a cheap suit.  He’s not very intelligent.  His eyes don’t line up.  He’s a racist. Continue Reading »

I had a letter from MBNA the other day.  I get a lot of post from them every week, mostly junk that’s advertising some stupid loan deal.  I don’t want a loan.   I can’t help spotting the irony that every piece of junk mail they send me has the following text at the end:

Please think of the environment and recycle this letter

I’m pretty sure that MBNA isn’t thinking of the environment.

Still, they did give me a £17,000 credit card limit.  Just what no one needs.

Who writes then?  I just got this in reply to a meeting request.  There was no other content in the message.  Someone spent a lot of time writing this meaningless crap.  The first paragraph is hilarious - any email that ends up in my Inbox is for me to do with as I please.  Why “other legal rules “may” it be protected by?

This e-mail is private and confidential and is protected by copyright. It may also be privileged or otherwise protected by other legal rules. Access by or disclosure to anyone other than the intended recipient for any reason other than the business purpose for which the message is intended, is unauthorised. If you receive it in error, notify us, delete it and do not make use of or copy it.

Internet communications are not secure and therefore the Some Group companies Some Group Limited, Some Limited, Some Services Limited and Some General Insurance Services Limited) do not accept legal responsibility for the contents of this message. Any views or opinions presented are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Some Group companies unless otherwise specifically stated.

If this communication relates to Some Insure, you are in communication with Some General Insurance Services Limited which is registered in England and Wales under company registration number 1902998. Some General Insurance Services Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority under FSA number 0123456.

If this communication relates to corporate, finance and other associated matters, you are in communication with Some Group Limited which is registered in England and Wales under company registration number 0123456.

If this communication relates to Some Learning you are in communication with Some Learning Limited which is registered in England and Wales under company registration number 0123456.

If this communication relates to the activities Some Limited or Some Solutions, you are in communication with Some Limited which is registered in England and Wales under company registration number 0123456. Some Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority under FSA number 0123456.

If this communication relates to Some employment with Some group, technology supplied by Some, and other ancillary matters related thereto you are in communication with Some Services Limited which is registered in England and Wales under company registration number 2338540.

If this communication relates to services provided to FSA directly regulated advisers in Some Direct and Some Select, you are in communication with Some Select Services Limited which is registered in England and Wales under company registration number 0123456. Some Select Services Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority under FSA number 0123456.

All Some group companies have their registered office address at Pixies End, Dorkville, Scurvy.