Kibo …

Who’s the prick that thought automatically restarting a PC, without user intervention while applications are running, was a good idea?  I just got in to work this morning to find that an Windows update required an automatic restart.  The PC restarted even though applications were running.  Did it restart the applications for me?  Did it fuck!

When will Windows developers pull their heads out of their arses and stop doing shit like this?  They really are a bunch of controlling fuckheads.  They probably have small dicks and ugly girlfriends, or small tits and fat boyfriends.

A few minutes after I put all my nice, clean laundry away, this happened.  That black bag in the lower-right is a rubble sack, already full of plaster.  Marvellous.

Fortunately no one was hurt, and there’s no significant damage to any of the furniture.  It could have been more serious - that lump of plaster resting against the headboard weighed about a kilo.

From the BBC:

An environmental expert in St Andrews has warned the year 2050 could see the town’s famous golf course, the Old Course, crumble into the North Sea.

OK.  Global warming, and all that.  Obviously an expert.

Prof Bebbington, of St Andrews University, also visualises a car-sharing nation of vegetarians, a country with evolving values, ‘respected and trusted’ political leaders working form a virtual parliament, and Celtic and Rangers players sharing the same carbon-neutral diet.

Nutter.

Guy One: Thanks for the tea.
Guy Two: My pleasure.  Pleeaaassssuuurrrreee.
Guy One: That’s quite a bit of pleasure.
Me: He put something of himself in to it.
Guy Two: Ooooooh.   Nasty.
Guy One: <SpitsTeaOverKeyboard />

Brilliant!

FAST food fan Natalie Jackson was hit with a £150 fine at KFC — for staying too long gorging on a monster-sized “family bucket”.

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Just heard that an IT director at a company not too distant from me has used the phrase “multi-faceted face-off”.  What a prick.  What the fuck does that mean?  It’s the sort of phrase used by a total arsehole.

Where do these pricks get these phrases from? Perhaps they have inner-rectum wanking evenings where they come up with them. Shoot your load over the biscuit and you get to choose that week’s Wank Word.

A friend of mine is off to a meeting soon where it’s likely that quite a few manager-types (you know the sort - get to the top, fuck things up, have no idea what they’re doing, and so on) will have prepared PowerPoint slides to talk around.  I suspect there’ll be animation, whacky font choices and all that.  Where do those people find time for all that bullshit?

If you’ve got time to prepare some wanky PowerPoint slideshow for an internal meeting you haven’t got enough to do.

Guy Two: It must be really convenient having a girlfriend in Cheltenham when you live so far away.
Me: Yes, it is. Why else do you think I keep her?
Guy Two: It won’t be long before she’s got you talking about moving in, though.
Me: Hmmm.
Guy Two: Then she’ll have you doing all sorts of jobs for her.
Me: What do you mean “then”? I put up her washing line before we started seeing each other!
Guy Two: See, you’re already screwed.

Guy One: You’re so lucky to be going.
Me: Where?
Guy One:<laughs /> To New York!
Me: I paid for it.
Guy One: Yeah, I know. But you’re still lucky.
Me: Do you want to come with me?
Guy One: Eh?
Me: I can change the ticket.
Guy One: Yeah, I wouldn’t mind actually.
Me: There are certain favours you’d have to do for me that you might not be comfortable with, though.
Guy One: <laughs />
Guy Two: <laughs />
Me: Actually, I wouldn’t be particularly comfortable with those favours, either.

Two examples of why retards shouldn’t be allowed to print signs, team shirts, or go to university.

The “Viewpoint’s” sign is at Yat Rock, and the team shirt was spotted at Cheltenham train station.  There’s also a “Mens’ Rugby Team” shirt knocking about.  Cretins.