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Guy One: A student up north has won £7m on EuroMillions.
Me: Really?
Guy One: Yeah. Bitch. I could do a lot with £7m.
Me: Me too. I’d develop a coke habit.
Guy One: Really?
Me: Yeah. I could afford it with that much money – it’s important to do things properly, and doing coke properly [...]

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Guy One: I hate it. I’m scared of rejection.
Me: Don’t worry about it. Life’s too short.
Guy One: I know. My mate plays a numbers game and hits on ten or 12 girls a night.
Guy Two Thing is, if you go for a one-night stand you’re only going to get a crap shag, [...]

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