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Guy One: A student up north has won £7m on EuroMillions. Me: Really? Guy One: Yeah. Bitch. I could do a lot with £7m. Me: Me too. I’d develop a coke habit. Guy One: Really? Me: Yeah. I could afford it with that much money – it’s important to do things properly, and doing coke [...]

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Guy One: I hate it. I’m scared of rejection. Me: Don’t worry about it. Life’s too short. Guy One: I know. My mate plays a numbers game and hits on ten or 12 girls a night. Guy Two Thing is, if you go for a one-night stand you’re only going to get a crap shag, [...]

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