Posted in Conversations on Dec 10th, 2008 No Comments »
Guy One: Has anyone got any Christmas decorations? Guy Two: %( Me: %( Guy One: We haven’t got any up? Me: That’s because Guy Two’s a Jew and I’m a Hindu.
Posted in Conversations on Nov 24th, 2008 No Comments »
Guy One: No, I’m cutting down on tea. Guy Two: What? Cutting down on tea! Guy One: Yeah, I’m drinking more water. It’s good for you, isn’t it? Me: What? Fish fuck in water – how can that be good for you? Guy One: :-S Me: At least tea grows on trees – that’s fruit!
Posted in Conversations on Nov 17th, 2008 No Comments »
Me: Wii Fit in stock at Gamestation now, mate. Guy One: Hmmm. Not sure I’ve got enough now. Me: £70 delivered … Guy One: I need to make some money quickly. Me: Drugs or sex. That’s the way. Guy One: Hmmm. Me: You might want to combine the two to make it more palatable, though. [...]
Posted in Conversations on Nov 7th, 2008 No Comments »
Guy One: I can’t wait to go to the dentist. Me: What!? Guy One: My teeth feel so much cleaner after I’ve seen the hygienist. Me: Hmmm. Guy One: That comment was a bit out of the blue, actually. Me: I bet no one else ever says that. Is she fit, then? Guy One: She’s [...]
Posted in Conversations on Nov 6th, 2008 No Comments »
Guy One: I wouldn’t mind waking up next to her. Me: What if she had morning breath? Guy One: It wouldn’t matter – she wouldn’t be facing me. [When looking at a photo of Penelope Cruz in "Vanilla Sky"] Guy One: There are tits – I didn’t see the tits!
Posted in Conversations on Nov 1st, 2008 No Comments »
Me: Did you take the kids Trick or Treating on Friday? Guy One: Yes, but only to a few people who knew they were coming. Me: Our neighbour asked if they could call on us, and even left some sweets in case we weren’t ready. Guy One: That’s a good idea. Me: Yeah, but if [...]
Posted in Conversations on Oct 27th, 2008 No Comments »
Me: There’s rumour about a fat woman who got stuck on an aeroplane toilet. She had to stay in there until the plane landed. Guy One: :-} Guy Two: :-} Me: Yeah, she flushed before she stood up and the vacuum trapped her. Guy Two: It’s a vacuum, is it? Me: Yeah. Imagine being the [...]
Posted in Conversations on Oct 2nd, 2008 No Comments »
Guy One: Thanks for the tea. Guy Two: My pleasure. Pleeaaassssuuurrrreee. Guy One: That’s quite a bit of pleasure. Me: He put something of himself in to it. Guy Two: Ooooooh. Nasty. Guy One: <SpitsTeaOverKeyboard />
Posted in Conversations on Sep 30th, 2008 No Comments »
Guy Two: It must be really convenient having a girlfriend in Cheltenham when you live so far away. Me: Yes, it is. Why else do you think I keep her? Guy Two: It won’t be long before she’s got you talking about moving in, though. Me: Hmmm. Guy Two: Then she’ll have you doing all [...]
Posted in Conversations on Sep 30th, 2008 No Comments »
Guy One: You’re so lucky to be going. Me: Where? Guy One:<laughs /> To New York! Me: I paid for it. Guy One: Yeah, I know. But you’re still lucky. Me: Do you want to come with me? Guy One: Eh? Me: I can change the ticket. Guy One: Yeah, I wouldn’t mind actually. Me: [...]