Posted in Conversations on Dec 24th, 2009 No Comments »
Me: I reckon we’re the only people in on this floor today. Guy One: Do you think? Me: Yeah. Guy One: I might do a recce. Me: Go on then, but commando crawl. Guy One: OK. Guy One then set off, commando crawling out of the office…
Posted in Conversations on Dec 18th, 2009 No Comments »
Me: Do you reckon a mobile ‘phone would work if you were buried, in a coffin, under six or seven feet of earth? Guy One: Don’t know. Me: Perhaps we should take Guy Two for the bike ride in the forest tomorrow. Guy Two: <leaves the office in case we try to grab him />
Posted in Conversations on Aug 19th, 2009 No Comments »
Guy One: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Me: What’s up? Guy One: Fuck and bollocks and arses! Me: What have you done? Guy One: Deleted the “Services” table. Me: From Live? Guy One: Yes. Bollocks. The table isn’t on DEV, either. Me: For ——-? Guy One: Yes. Cock! Me: See, you should always develop on DEV, then [...]
Posted in Conversations on Aug 5th, 2009 No Comments »
Me: Did you know that no cell in your body is more than 1/200mm away from a blood supply? Guy One: Really? Me: Yup. Guy Two – tell him your fact. Guy Two: A blue whale’s tongue weighs as much as an elephant. Me: What’s your interesting fact? Guy One: I had two shits this [...]
Posted in Conversations on Apr 29th, 2009 No Comments »
Guy One: Yeah, she’s going to get her teeth done. Me: Really? Cool. It can be worth doing. Guy One: She had a really bad root-canal, so it’s gone a bit discoloured. Me: I see. Who’s idea was it for her to have a boob job? Guy One: Hers. Me: Fucking brilliant. Your girlfriend thought [...]
Posted in Conversations on Apr 1st, 2009 1 Comment »
Me: Could you give Simon Behr a ring on 01993 82—-. Seems like N— F—– has been singing your praises. Guy One: <ringing /> No answer. Is that number right? It’s for the Cotswold Wildlife Park. Me: Yes – I checked it with him, but he didn’t say where he works. Two minutes later … [...]
Posted in Conversations on Feb 20th, 2009 No Comments »
Guy One: How’s it all going? Guy One: any emergencies? Me: Not too bad. Guy Two is wearing a cowboy outfit and has set your desk on fire three times so far. He’s also signed Guy Three up to AdultFriendFinder.com, whatever that is. We’re getting some weird calls from girls called “Siobhan” and “Pickles” all [...]
Posted in Conversations on Feb 6th, 2009 No Comments »
Me: Can you log in to DEV Dashboard? Guy One: I’m having trouble doing anything at the moment. Me: The log-in process is chucking an error in email.asp Guy One: I’ve been working on that file actually. Me: Did you put a bug in it? Guy One: I did put a bug in it, yes. [...]
Posted in Conversations on Jan 28th, 2009 No Comments »
Me: Which one? I like the one on the lower right. Guy One: I bet you do, but I prefer tits than ass. Me: I was referring to the one stroking her friend’s hair. Guy One: I see, I thought you meant to sliver of behind on show. Me: Well, I could probably do things [...]
Posted in Conversations on Dec 19th, 2008 No Comments »
Me: Are you still suffering, then? Guy One: Yeah, a little bit. Me: Oh dear. Guy One: I need to keep busy. Me: Yeah, I think hangovers are worse on Saturdays and Sundays because you haven’t got to get up to do anything. Guy One: You’re right, actually. Me: I guess hangovers are a bit [...]